3 replies to this topic

[SwedishFruscianteFan]

Okay so..this is something I wrote a while ago when I was in huge amounts of pain. It's my first `poem´ and I didn't post it back then cause I felt like it was to emotional and not that good overall. The poem itself may sound a bit to cliché but I really just wrote down how I felt at that time. Please consider that I don't write much!

I thought I'd found what I was looking for, I thought I'd found something true. I thought life couldn't get much better, I thought it was going to be me and you. I thought you were the best I've ever seen, I thought I was living in some sort of magical dream. I thought it was perfect without any doubt, but I feared everyday that it wouldn't work out. I thought I'd found a meaning, I thought I'd found my call. I thought I'd found something unique, but it would turn out to be nothing at all.

So did the day came when everything changed, you said words to me that were out of range. You turned my life upside down, I never thought I could be so letdown.

Now you're life has changed and so has mine, yours for the better and I'm lost in a life I can't define. Wondering If I will ever feel the same again, all I feel now is this hurtful flood of pain.

I really can't believe I've lost you, but all I can do now is hoping to found something really true

[dveri]

Nice poem. Maybe it is a little bit cliché, as you say, but it's sounds very honest and sincere which means a lot to me. So I liked it.
P.S. Hope you're feeling better now:)

[SwedishFruscianteFan]

^Hehe yeah, I don't think it's anything special and a bit flat and boring perhaps but thanks a lot for reading and commenting, that's really sweet

Although if I think about her from time to time it's nothing compared to how I felt back then, so yeah, I'm feelin' better

Thanks again!

[Iva]

Record a version where you're talking and make sure you sound angry and sad. As a written piece per se, it's somewhat average...as a spoken word piece, it can get really interesting!

Also, you forgot the full stop at the very end. Not that it matters, but I always let people know when I see little errors.