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My songs


6 replies to this topic

#1 Jack90

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Posted 03 March 2010 - 03:04 AM

Hello. I am new to the forum! So I'll write a little about myself, but not much as I'm sure you don't really care. I am a 19 year old student and I've taken refuge in music as a way to express myself. My first love in music was Rock which lead me to the Blues. But that doesn't mean I only listen to the blues, just given a choice I'll usually listen to it :)
Anyway over the last year I have started writing some cathartic songs and here are two.

Ink Blot

Look at this ink blot,
Tell me what you see.
I'm gonna figure you out.
Are you insane?
Or just out of your mind.
Look at this ink blot,
And soon we'll find out.

"My father died and left me.
My mother did the best she could.
I found something so evil
That I swore it was good.
That's when i heard it:
A lingering voice in my ear,
The one I've grown to fear".

As the smoke dances with the air,
Head spinning out of control
The murderous words of the wall
Come seeping through.
Telling me something,
That I forgot long ago.
There's a killer on the loose,
Can't you hear his laugh?
Sounds like a death rattle.
I've heard it before,
And I hope I hear it again.
He will make me,
Or he will break me.
I searched through my personalities,
Tried to find the one he likes.
Before the killer strikes.

"I was like a glass house,
Ready to break into a thousand pieces
But you saw right through me.
I realize now, everything is empty,
Nothing is as it seems
Cuz it was all an illusion,
Just another paranoid delusion"

Life is a series of shattered dreams.
The more you hold on, the more you get cut!
-----

Deeper Shade of Blue

You said you're a prisoner in your mind.
Tell me, what did you find?
Then you sung a lonely song
And think this is where you belong.
It may be a blessing or a curse
But your mind creates the universe.
So when the sun is shining bright
Don't fool yourself, and say it's just another night!
You're a deeper shade of blue
And let me tell you

Chorus
The grass is greener on the other side,
You just have to swim against the tide.
The grass is greener on the other side,
You just have to enjoy the bumpy ride.

A gentle breeze disturbs the trees
And the leaves begin to fall.
This is when you began to recall
What has been and gone.
But I say, Just move right on.
So listen to my plea
And I hope you agree

Chorus

A lonely river sighs
As a white dove flies away,
Away to a brand new day.
If you don't like what you have turned in to
And nothing is working for you,
Then you have to try something new.
No it won't all go your way
But listen when i say

Chorus

If you try, I'll try
If you fly, I'll fly
If you sigh, I'll sigh
If you cry, I'll cry
If you die...

Cuz you're a deeper shade of blue,
Deeper than I'm used too.
You're a deeper shade of blue,
Deeper than anyone I ever knew.

Thank You for reading and I hope you enjoyed them. Tell me what you think and how they can be improved :)

#2 Iva

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Posted 13 April 2010 - 06:13 PM

I am intrigued but I don't want to say anything before I ask you what you had in mind when you wrote them. Of course, only if it's not private. :)

I like seeing well written songs/p..ms, what a breath of fresh air.

And, of course, welcome.
NEW BOARD RULES, as of 13th February 2011
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#3 Phantom

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Posted 15 April 2010 - 11:27 AM

You said you're a prisoner in your mind.
Tell me, what did you find?
Then you sung a lonely song
And think this is where you belong

i have know idea why but i really really like those words
Love, Love x

#4 Jack90

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Posted 15 April 2010 - 05:23 PM

View PostIva, on Apr 13 2010, 06:13 PM, said:

I am intrigued but I don't want to say anything before I ask you what you had in mind when you wrote them. Of course, only if it's not private. :)

They are about my experience with drugs and the baggage associated with them.

A big thank you to both of you for reading them :)

I decided to update my poem/song.

#5 Jack90

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 09:48 AM

Shadow of the Night

(chorus)
She was just another girl
Wandering street to street
Trying to find her feet
In this lonely world
And every night she was gone
Her parents left the porch light on

Maybe she was unaware
Maybe she didn't care
Everyone agrees
That she was eager to please
When you play with desire
It's bound to go up in flames

Saw this pretty little thing
Walk into the bar
Said a few quick lines
She didn't seem to mind
"I'm new in town
maybe you can show me around?"
Her voice echoed the
Loneliness in her heart
Oh the good are so easy to corrupt

She was a sweet girl
Bent over backwards to help me
She said "is that all?"
And she went home
I waited by the phone
She didn't call

(chorus)

"I will make her hurt
I will make her bleed
Use 'em and abuse 'em
There's more beauty in a
fallen angel anyway"

Dark creature took her by the hand
Buried her in the desert sand
She lay motionless, eyes wide open
The last thing she saw
Was the shadow of the night

Maybe she was unaware
Maybe she didn't care
Everyone agrees
That she was eager to please
When you play with desire
It's bound to go up in flames

She was just another girl
Wandering street to street
Trying to find her feet
In this lonely world
And her parents knew she was gone
and turned the porch light... off
Replaced by the shadows of the night

This is about an Australian backpacker called Britt Lapthorne from a few years ago.

#6 Iva

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Posted 25 May 2010 - 04:01 AM

Thanks for clearing that up! :flowers:

I like these a lot. Many people would either try to go for some total avant-garde (which only works when they have a clear goal on what they're trying to write) or something old-style with too many adjectives. But there's a lot of beauty in story-telling poetry such as what you have here. I can imagine this sung as something in style of Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen or anyone from that day who's still active nowadays. :headphone: And I would definitely love to see more.
NEW BOARD RULES, as of 13th February 2011
John Frusciante unofficial website - Invisible Movement - this forum is a part of it
Follow Invisible Movement on Twitter
Become a fan of Invisible Movement on Facebook
Invisible Movement's microblog on Tumblr

If you need anything tweeted from this board, drop me a line. Or, check this thread to have your music promoted.

My blog / My portfolio (soon!) / @iva_tanackovic

"What an independent dog. He comes and goes as he pleases, but I have to stay home and fix his supper!" (Charlie Brown on Snoopy)

#7 Jack90

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Posted 25 May 2010 - 12:52 PM

View PostIva, on 25 May 2010 - 04:01 AM, said:

Thanks for clearing that up! :flowers:

I like these a lot. Many people would either try to go for some total avant-garde (which only works when they have a clear goal on what they're trying to write) or something old-style with too many adjectives. But there's a lot of beauty in story-telling poetry such as what you have here. I can imagine this sung as something in style of Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen or anyone from that day who's still active nowadays. :headphone: And I would definitely love to see more.

Wow thanks! That's the style I was going for so thanks a lot! Well I do have many many more songs. Hundreds more! but these are the only ones I'm sort of happy with. So hopefully I can write a few more that I'm happy with soon.

If you want I can put some others up.. but I stole all the good ideas or most of them and put them in these three :)





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