66 replies to this topic

[freyr]

Nintendo's inflatable horse

There is nothing wrong with 2 year olds playing video games.
Nintendo goes places that would make another company feel shame

Win an audience that is young, to make them nostalgic about your brand
And the entire life cycle of the gamer is in your hand

What I mean is: when you're 2 years old...you're lovin' the inflatable horse.
When you're 90 years old in a retirement home with dementia,

You're lovin' the inflatable horse.

[freyr]

What color are your eyes

Billy says his eyes are blue
Sally has a green so true

Brenda has a brown
her eyes look pretty even when she's down

A hipster who calls herself storm
has rainbow color contacts
she praises the imagination
paying little regard to facts

I want contacts that change color depending on my mood,
plus they should give me an internet browser powered by voice commands
all the information, just behind my eye lids
Plus a little x-ray vision would be cool, but in some cases rude

Maybe even lasers. It would be cool driving down the highway in your car

with your head out the window, big smile on your face

your hair blowing in the wind,

shooting lasers out of your eyes

Scorn me all you want Mr. Practical

but one day my ideas will change the world, then who's scorning who?

I forgot to mention that these lasers should be different colors depending my mood,

like if I'm slightly anxious but a little excited,

I want a color laser fired out of my eyes that reflects that unique individual feeling

If I'm feeling particularly romantic toward nature, I want the lasers to have some gentle earth tone pastels,

and maybe whatever I shoot might sprout flowers....or even wine or beer.

Like, if I shot some lasers into a cup, there would be beer, and then maybe I would get drunk.

That's my point.

[freyr]

A pool filled with anything

If you had a pool filled with anything, what would it be?
Jimmy says money, it would make him feel so damn free
Suzy says chocolate, because she's still just a child
And Randy says women, because his hormones make him wild

But if you're talking to me, and you want to really know
The pool would have to be the size of a stadium, because I want to put on a show

I want stands filled with thousands of people chanting my name Freyr
as I wrestle and defeat a Minotaur in just my underwear.

I would be awarded a trophy,

and my parents would tell me

that my birth was planned afterall,

and that they take back what they said

they are now proud to have me as a son.

Because I beat that minotaur.

Part 2:

But if I was allowed to have another pool,

I want a huge pool filled with a variety of cool spaceships,
and at the very center of the pool there would be this drain that opens into a worm-hole (like in star trek)
and I could ride a space ship through this worm-hole
and I would reappear on a new planet that was a lot like earth, populated by humans - -

the only difference is that, if I were to have sex with a female,

I wouldn't ejaculate pre-maturely like I do on this planet.

[GoodTimeBoys]

I like these. That last one was pretty hilarious (hopefully that was your intention).

[freyr]

thanks for the kind words.

[freyr]

Thank you Mr. Gurps. I wrote a few sensitive poems in the past similar to the ones above, but not very often. This is a fairly recent thing.


And just for the record, I don't ejaculate prematurely, I just thought it was a funny punchline. But if you want to believe otherwise, that's cool too.

[freyr]

I do have a blog, check out my banner!


Here's a poem I wrote to a female who I was trying to romance over the internet:

Indian Summer

It's a warm fall day,
me and you lying beside a river on a blanket,
You're feeding me cherries, while my hands are behind my head,
You ask me "haven't you had enough?"
And I'm like, "No, more cherries"
And you're like "But that was the last one"
and next thing you know, I'm like

zzzzz-zzzzzz

[freyr]

Hey everyone,

I decided it was time to open myself up a little more by inviting you all to check out my music and blog! (click on my banner)

Here are some things you should know about my songs.

"Cosmic Bemusement" gives a unique glimpse into my playful and amorous soul. Just after the 26 sec. mark, the emotion I capture is one of being drunk outside with friends and slipping on some mud, falling on my rear end, and then laughing about it while I'm on the ground, and continuing to laugh about it with friends as I continue to drink beer.

"No Disciples" probably expresses a range of emotions like no other song in history. It was inspired by a weekend I had where I couldn't find any disciples to teach and chastise, so it was a really melancholy weekend for me.

"Emotions of a Genius" has been described by one visitor of mine as "groovy", but I don't think she realizes how great it is. This song is an epic instrumental, which I feel gives the listener a glimpse into the workings of my fascinating and brilliant mind.


"Billions more to come"

Could there be a song any more philosophical and lofty in vision?

This song is like an anthem for societal, technological and biological evolution, plus it works just as well as an anthem for space migration.

Billions of years, billions of people, billions of cycles. I wrote this song for living with a big view of whats ahead. The lyric "Engineering" refers to a lot, like producing better schools, parenting methods, web programming, contraceptives, better media, space shuttles and space stations - - or it could refer to genetic engineering, new technology in general, ways of producing cleaner, cheaper energy. You get the idea. * also, this song was inspired by story by Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

Pay special attention to what happens at the 1:38 mark. I don't think there are any other songs out there that can rival what I capture. The silence you here prior to the explosion of awesomeness is supposed to be an image of man looking at his own reflection in a little hand mirror he carries, and then when the music kicks in, the imagery is of him boosting away on his hover bike, hover car or personal spacecraft!

Anyways, stay tuned for more songs, and be sure to check out my blog, as I think you'll find just as much spiritual nourishment there as you hopefully find in my special music.

[freyr]

Glad you like it, Gurps:

I believe poetry can give strength.

So for the past few weeks I've been working on a poem which really focuses on some key issues relating to the failure of America. I seek to remedy America's failure by inspiring a return to traditional values, but I also value a bit of esoteric thinking - a little spice, if you will.

My song is called:

There's weakness left

I praise the men who only sleep with women - these are the ones who fight against darkness with free will

I praise the women who stay home to cook and clean - these women know how God wants it to be

I praise the great souls who make lots of money - they are the ones who work very hard.

Chorus: So many great people - it's them who give me faith

I scoff at the souls who use contraceptives and medicine - don't they know the joy of letting God decide?

I pity the souls who drive on the bus - why don't they save up and buy a new car?

Chorus: So many deep questions, that no one will ever understand....

I praise the souls who churn milk into cream - look at them driving their new shiny car

I praise the souls who wear smart, fancy clothes - they make themselves so darn likable.

I praise the souls who have faith in the God - they believe in so many pleasant things.

Chorus: So many great people - it's them who give me faith.

I scorn the souls who try to think with their heads - don't they know there's emotions so deep?

I laugh at the souls who don't like to work - don't they know there's money to be made?

I pity the men who live and sleep alone - why don't they go out and take a new wife?

I scorn the girls who aren't pretty at all - don't they know they are ugly because of sinful thoughts?

I pity the men who have sex with other men - why don't they use their free will to be straight?

Chorus: So many deep questions, that no one will ever understand.....

[freyr]

The means to Yujin

I tried to grow some weed
I needed some money for the ultimate girl

A girl from Korea, that I taught
At a school I got fired from

When our love was at it’s peak
My boss he could see I was out of control

I partied with the students
but I wasn't allowed to do that
I got the guys high
I got the girls horny with my Brad Pitt eyes

But on one occasion, I got found out...

The boss he knew where I was hanging out!

I checked my email at a students house
This student was living with a teacher
My msn name was saved on their computer
The teacher came home, she knew I was there
Hanging out with Masio, an Arabian dude
He was student, he was real cool
I would get him high, and we would talk Yujin and
all other Koreans student that I wanted sex with

One time at that same house
I did a bunch of a mushroom with Masio and a student named knife
And some other Korean girl who was friends with Yujin
She got real high
But she was not Yujin
Her beauty was not that high, she had chub
But we did sexual things.

But, anyway, back to the facts
I’m sitting scared with the cops on my ass
I got come clean now! I got to get off the grass!

This weed has been a friend
But all friends must pass
And Yujin my dear, I coming for you

Yujin was her name,
She was hottest Korean I ever did seen
I told her that one evening
While we walked down the street

At that moment, she started to suspect
That my desires, were out of control

But I didn’t know this
I thought we connected

Maybe we did
To this day I don’t know

All that I know is
She never replies
To my emails
I check every day

I made her some promises,
she might not have took seriously

Now that I think back

I was out of my mind

But then again
I am not sure

Maybe I really have let her down

....

A chub Korean girl, friend of Yujin, her heart was sweet
I was Jones'n for anything with breasts!

I hoped Yujin would never find out
I hoped my sins, were something to laugh about
I just kept my mind fixed on her
In denial, that she would hear about how

I really am

I really am not the man she will have
But maybe someday I will
This might come out in the wash

I got laundry to do.
I got a drug operation
It was the means to Yujin
She doesn’t like me
And I’m about to be busted

I take refuge in friends

I want to run to your Korean shore!

Now it’s January 9th

I told her I’d see her on dec 16th
I hoped I'd have some cash by then
To take me to her Korean shore
To see my precious Yujin
But my weed didn’t grow that fast
And just when it was good to go
The cops were bangin' on the door
And Yujin was like a princess on a boat
And I was drowning as I watched her float away

Now’s it’s January 9th,
I check my emails, every day
Yujin she never replies
maybe she knows about her friends....that I tried

[freyr]

My latest Blog is a really deep parable:


A son once said to his wise father:

"father, you explained what men and women do to have babies, and you said that the orgasm is what makes sex worthwhile for the male"

"Yes, son, that's right."

"I want to know what an orgasm feels like for myself."

"Well, you will have to wait, you are only 7 years old"

"No, I want to know what it feels like right now!"

The father replied calmly:

"Then drink 10 glasses of water right now. "

The son was puzzled....."why father?"

The father then snapped sternly:

"You want to know how it feels, then drink 10 glasses right now!"

The son immediately drank down 10 glasses of water.

"I don't feel anything, father"

The father simply smiled blankly.

The boy shrugged his shoulders and then went to play videogames, soon forgetting all about sex and orgasm.

About a half hour later, the son had to go for a piss, but when he tried to open the bathroom door, it was locked. The boy turned to his father, who was grinning while dangling a key from his hand.

"father, I need to go take a piss"

"You will wait." Replied the father grinning.

Another 20 minutes later, the boy was squirming. "Father, if you don't let me in the bathroom, I shall go outdoors to piss"

The boy marched to the one door that lead out of the house, but it was locked too.

The boy looked back at his father, who was dangling another key from his hand, flashing a grin.

"Father! I am going to explode! Let me take a piss!"

"You will wait 5 more minutes" said the father.

5 minutes passed, the Father opened the door to the bathroom, and his son quickly rushed in.

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" exclaimed the boy as he began to urinate.

When he was all done, and came out of the bathroom, the Father was looking at the boy expectantly with a smile.

"what?" said the boy.

"Now you know what sex is all about" said the father with a smile.

"Well, I'll admit, the piss felt pretty damn good!" said the boy with a laugh.

The father beamed at his son proudly, "Now you know what sex is about. It's just a really good piss"

"Yeah, but minus all the frustration and torture that lead up to it, right Father?"

The father laughed a big belly laugh, and patted the boy on the head.

"Right father?"

The father walked away laughing.

[freyr]

My Internet Lover

At first she was just pixel and text
Like a coke or candy machine, glowing green
I inserted some silvery worth not knowing what to expect
She might not give anything back...but if she does, stay keen!

stay keen, Dr. Cory! Stay keen!

I am very pleased to hear about your views on marriage, ms. lady
Women have many strengths over men,
but one thing they always seem to be suckers for

is marriage!

But you defy the stereotype!
I now regard you as spiritually advanced
I want you to fly with me, like two eagles fly
and maybe we'll try to poop on cars together

You are so much more than a vending machine
you don't give candy. You don't give pop.

You are a sparkling ocean at sunrise,
When people stare into the sparkling beauty of your soul
they feel like they are drunk, or on marijuana or LSD

in a good way, child.

in a good way.

[freyr]

Come and get Sexified

Ladies, come and get sexified
I’m gonna fill you with the juiciest ecstasy

Abrasion’s, like a hot dog in it’s bun
Come on girls… for some sexual fun.

Chorus:
It don’t matter if you’re four hundred pounds
You need love - you need some love child

Who was the fool who teased your heart ?
Who passed on your earthquake love ?

It won’t be me cause I love your type
Gig-gigglin your booty around

The bigger the better – the looser the funner
Like a hot dog roasted at the peak of summer

Strange choice of words, honey yes girl, I know,
girl don’t mind that… Put on show

outro:

Take off your clothes, let it hang out

Grab my balls

[freyr]

Telepathic Group Mind

I fell into a telepathic group mind
Me and some friends we operating like the ancient ones once did
The destiny of man was revealed to be the oldest secrets lost

Preoccupation with girls was starting to wane
I was longing for god, for the source, for the thing unnamed

I talked about it with my friends in a scientific way
I said boys, I think we have found the key to transform into stars

They were in denial, they said "man, we were just real stoned"

I couldn’t believe my ears, how could they brush aside something so weird?
How could they deny, a mystic life, a magic life, so sheer?

Needless to say, I was angry - - I said: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I read lots of books on shamans, mystic science stuff

I‘m the reason why, things have gotten strange
Strange is what is good, I am good.
To be a bourgeois .that is no good,

lets be good

I said, lets do some more shrooms, lets push this to the max
We’ve just scratched the surface – lets accelerate our evolution

[freyr]

Lonely Feeling

Me and this girl were on a date,
I took her out on my row boat,
it was a beautiful sunny day
we paddled through a small shallow pond,
I was trying to express my feelings
to this girl, who just wasn't as sensitive as me

I told her

"Have you ever been in a boat,
in the ocean, on a super calm day
with the water placid?

Did you ever look down into the water
with dusty sunrays shooting down
into what seemed like an abyss?

And when you did this
did you ever take a second
to see how lonely it felt?

All that empty space.

Down, down, down. So lonely.

It makes my heart ache."

She replied:

"Yeah. There's also a lot of loneliness
when I look up in space
space is millions of times more vast than the ocean"

I replied:

"Yeah, but those stars are so close together,
It's hardly lonely up there,
And our earth is so close to the sun and moon,
I mean, just look at how big the sun is right now,
it's bigger than my thumb nail,
it's obviously not that far away

It's hardly lonely
I don't see any loneliness up there"

Then I told her

"you know, you really don't know what you're talking about"

She replied

"Cory, the distance between the surface of the ocean
and the bottom of the ocean is only an infinitesimally small fraction
of the distance between two stars, or even between the sun and earth"

I then pushed her out of the boat.

She yelled quite angrily,
but she deserved it.
she splashed around quite noisily,
which was annoying.

I then paddled to shore
and laid down in the grass
with a piece of wheat in my mouth
my legs crossed,
and watched the clouds turn into different shapes,
trying to find animals in the clouds

In the corner of my eye,
I was waiting for her to come out of the water
thinking she might attack me in some way
But she ran right past me,
heading towards her car,
apparently sobbing
but like I said,
she deserved it.

I heard her drive away,
and noticed the sound of her car fade away

Then I suddenly realized
I had no way home,
but then I seen something cool in the clouds,
looked kind of like a lion, with an elephant trunk, and it had wings,
and then suddenly,
I was sound asleep

[freyr]

shamanic trance-dance

We danced around the fire mad with spiritual power
We went unconscious in a cosmic dance-frenzy,
That lasted all night

We ripped off our clothes and threw them in the fire!
I'm not saying that's something you'd normally do,
but you have to understand the circumstances!

After all, we were trying to break science. No rules.

So we continued to dance,
but the sun came up,
and we were in a desert!

You managed to pull yourself out of the trance before me
you could see that the sun would burn our skin quite badly,
and it would become deathly hot soon
So you tried to snap me out of my shamanic trance-dance.
You were shaking me, and yelling in my ear,
I kept flailing my limbs idiotically, head tilted up at the sky,
with my eyes closed,
And then finally you got fed up,
you poured a bottle of water over my head,
and slapped me in the face

I fell down on the ground
with a big smile on my face
and I looked at you

remembering very fondly

who you were,

and quite a bit less fondly,

who I was

[freyr]

Tranquil

Driving a desert highway,
both of us naked,
Suddenly, in the distance,
a convenience store could be seen.
"You see that, honey!? Just as we got hungry!
I made that happen!"

I parked the Car, and stepped out confidently.

"Cory, you're naked, and you have no money!

He's going to call the cops!"

"My dear, you have little faith!
You just watch this master of reality get us some food!
I shall transform the consciousness and values of each person I meet, one person at a time"

I walked in the lonely convenience store,
my modest genitals swinging freely as I stepped in.

Wearing a big smile on my face, I looked the Cashier right in the eye.

this stocky Chinese man behind the counter had a stern, stoic expression.

He then bowed his head slightly and said:

"My name is Lee"

I replied:

"Hello Lee. I am Cory, a local Shaman. I am in need of food."

*Lee just stood there staring at me with a placid expression*

I continued:

"Lee, Perhaps you and I can make a trade...

Here's what I will do for you: I will gently lay my hands on your eyes, and give you the most wonderful of insights into reality. In exchange, I need some fruit, granola and water.

"Very well, show me insight!" replied Lee sternly, his dour expression not changing.

I laid my hands on Lee's eyes and exerted myself, trying to telepathically share my imagination and knowledge with Lee.

But I must have been weary, because my mind kept getting snared by the memory
of the David Hasselhoff video - Jump in my Car.

I couldn't stop thinking about it, and even fell prey to a smile as I recalled David pulling up to the girls in his car.

Lee then brushed my hand away from his eyes gently.

"You are fool" said Lee, with a playful laugh. I see no insight.

However, I do see my customer behind you, with her children, calling police man."

I then let out a nervous laugh "haha! - Well then!"

I started walking backwards toward the exit door nervously, hearing the sound of siren.

"Well then, I must be going! Farewell my friend!"

As I pushed open the door in a panic, I seen a police car parked with it's siren on, and a patrol man was questioning you...

I couldn't help myself, I started running!

I started sprinting aimlessly into the desert as fast as I could.

"Get him!" said one of the patrol men to his much younger partner.

The younger Patrol man started chasing me, his name was Willie,
and he carried a gun that shot tranquilizer darts.

Willie stopped and took careful aim, and fired a dart.

The dart struck me in the bare ass,
and the impact of the dart threw me to the ground.

As I hit the ground, I knew it was over.

In anger I started pounding the desert sand with my fists,
and gradually I felt my left butt cheek go numb,
and soon my whole body felt weak,
and next thing you know...I was asleep.

The desert sun, burning my bare bottom.

*camera, looking directly down at Cory, gradually zooms out further and further until Cory is just a dot, with quick blues guitar riff ending with whammy bar effects*