4 replies to this topic

[billyasd]

I'm Morgan. 17. Me and my friend Declan have been writing music, tv shows and stories etc. for about 4 years together now. We're a great team, but there's one huge thing that gets in the way ocassionally.

I believe that there's no such thing as a wrong thought in the world. Declan believes that there is only one right thought in the world.

To put it another way, when I listen to Going Inside I know that John probably wrote the lyrics intending them to be about the positives of deep self reflection, but I sometimes want to take it more literally and see it as a 3-4 minute emotional representation of going inside after playing outside with a school friend for a couple of hours. You know, when you're like 8 years old and your mum's like 'come in, it's dinner time' and you're just sad. Anyway, I'm aware that that's something I've imagined, and I don't think that makes it any less real or legitimate a meaning to Frusciante's song than his intended meaning. I feel more strongly towards my meaning, so in fact I think my made up meaning is more real.

Declan would probably be able to come up with the same thing, or his own meaning, but upon finding out what Frusciante's meaning was would discard his meaning and say that "He wrote it about this. You're wrong, it's about this. How do I know, because he wrote it."

I guess I get really sad with the attitude because it's almost like he thinks whoever writes a song or anything gets to decide how every single listener interprets it. that might be a bit far. He's not stupid, he knows that some people are going to interpret it differently to how he intended it, but if he ever came across one of these people and discussed it he would be like this:

"Oh, you were way off, it's about this."

If I was in the conversation I would be like this:

"That's interesting. Hmmm. That might even make more sense than my original meaning."

There are times when I get carried away with my thinking of "everything is right, interpretation is natural there is no set meaning for anything". I've got to learn that some things actually are set in stone. But surely he's just a bit too logical. How can I deal with this?

[ricky9nelson]

I'm not sure how you'd want to deal with this. In my opinion there is nothing to really deal with, that's just how he thinks. It's part of life to accept that most people are just not gonna see things our way, and just love 'em anyway. I don't know how trying to change him will help.

Also, from a logical standpoint, if you really do believe there are various interpretations or perspectives regarding most things in life, then by that logic you can appreciate your friend's view of life just as you want him to appreaciate your view of "Going inside" or anything else for that matter. The thing is that his beliefs do not require him to do so, yours do, as you advocate multiple angles for looking at things. Think of his opinion as an interpretation for life, from your standpoint it would makes no sense to argue against it, just accept it.

Hope that helps.

[billyasd]

It helps. I guess the thing is, I feel like I accept and understand his view. But at the same time the one thing in life that I can't understand and accept is other people not being able to understand and accept. So I feel like what I'm trying to do is not convince him that I'm right, but open his mind to my thinking. His thinking tends to lead him into thinking he's right and I'm wrong, whereas I think we're both right, except for the fact that his attitude is 'wrong', or close-minded, which I guess isn't wrong, it's just close-minded.

[ricky9nelson]

I see what you're saying man, I completely understand because I've met a lot of people like that myself.

All I can tell you is to do what you can without exhausting yourself. I other words, you can only try to help him (maybe he thinks its not helping so also think about that) until a certain point, after that he's got to figure out stuff by himself; otherwise you're the one who ends up losing your mind.

I used to be a lot like you with this sort of stuff but the way I now look at it is this. It's like if I care about someone then a piece of me is in that person and and a piece of them is in me (might seem sexual but its not; well sometimes it is ) and when you have too much of those pieces in either person then you feel like maybe you want some control over that. After all if there's a piece of you "invested" in someone else, you kinda feel like you should have a say in their lives. Bottom line is, you don't have a say, and even if its hard to realize just yet, that is one of the keys to healthy relationships. Basically it means that you can love that person without expecting anything back, and regardless of what they do. Without adopting this mentality it is easy to confuse things that people do with things that people do to you. The fact is almost nobody does anything that should affect us, we just let it affect us.

I hope that wasn't to confusing, it was a bit of a mouthful but hopefully you got my point. Its all the advice I can offer.

[billyasd]

You make complete sense. Especially the sexual bit . I feel like all the stuff you said I kind of already knew, I just hadn't thought about, which is kind of relevant to what you were saying about how things only affect us if we let them, I only know things if I acknowledge them. With this guy, we are so similar in so many ways, that this one thing, pretty much the only thing that we are opposed on, seems outrageous. Especially since it's like an overall philosophy on life.

I suppose I love Declan so much, because essentially we are very similar, but the basis of our interpretation of life are complete opposites.